On phone with OSH (outside hospital) Friday night: "So what you're telling me is that you want to transfer a 600 pound 25 year old who has infected bedsores all over her back, butt and legs for a psychiatric consult to evaluate mental capacity? Didn't you just tell me the medics had to bring her Barbie dolls in with her to keep her calm and she's mentally about 6?"
"Oh, no formal diagnosis and Adult Protective Services won't let you discharge her home because they suspect she's not being cared for properly? And you think she'd be better off with our nurses taking care of her than yours, hmm? Well, what I think is that you can arrange a psychiatric consult for Monday without having to transfer the patient just so you won't have to keep her for months. Your social worker can can spend the next few months trying to find placement, no need to involve ours."
On phone with OSH later Friday night, "What? You want to MedFlight a79 year old with a broken pinky because you can't reduce the fracture? Aren't you an ED?"
On Saturday evening, "Well, you see, Doc, I think I got attacked by these other chicks because I was flirting with one of 'ems boyfriend last night at the bar, but I don't really remember but that's what my friend said and I didn't get here any sooner because I was too hung over to know that a lot of the pain was because I was beat up."
3AM Sunday, "I brought my daughter in because she has a rash."
"She's 15? How long has she had this rash?"
These were between the two rollover car wrecks, pancreatitis, new cancer diagnosis, motorcycle (no crash hat) wreck and multiple other fun things. Only had one case of constipation, though.