Strange Funeral

My sister died a couple of weeks ago.   I've never been close to her, and while you might think that was due to the age difference (she was the youngest of my parent's real family, 15 years older than I.  Big Sis and BBB were in college when I was born and LBB graduated from HS when I was a month old), she wasn't close to any of our siblings either.  None of us had seen or heard from her in 11 years.  As a matter of fact, the only reason we found out she was dying was that her daughter (Niece3) called to ask for Nephew3's phone number, as it had been 13 years since he and his mother or sister had spoken, and she thought he should know. 


Niece3 is an adult, but has never taken a step not directed by her mother.  She doesn't drive because her mother and stepfather wouldn't allow her to learn.  She moved out once, but her stepfather committed suicide shortly thereafter and Sister made her move home to keep her company. 

Then Niece3 tried getting a job, but Sister had to have carpal tunnel surgery and forced her to quit so she could stay home and be a waitress take care of Sister during her time of need. Which never went away. Sister could have been in the Guinness Book of World Records as the laziest person ever.  She was also one of those people who preferred to sneak around rather than ask permission, even for things she knew would be approved, just because she loved feeling like she'd gotten something over on someone.  And, yes, she was a Welfare Rat for the same reasons.  Most of her companions through life were Cockroaches. She stumbled from one bad decision to another and was simply too stubborn change her mind. And that is the really sad thing.  She was brilliant, had a very high IQ, but no moral fiber, and seeing all of that potential wasted is regrettable. 

Anyway, after much debate with myself I decided to go to the funeral.  Mainly to remind Niece3 that she still has family because I'm not sure how well she'll manage out there in the Big World on her own.

So I took bravely took myself off to California. The day after I arrived I took Niece3 to lunch.  She wouldn't tell me where she lives, so I picked her up on a street corner (no, I don't think that is where she actually lives.) and took her out for lunch.  She had previously said the funeral would be on Friday, but at lunch she informed me that the arrangements had been changed to comply with her mother's wishes.  There would be no funeral, she was going to be cremated and the urn placed in her second husband's grave.  No one was to be informed of the actual time any of this would take place, not even Niece3.  Well, okay then.

So I asked Niece3 if there would be any memorial of any sort and she said she and some friends were getting together on Friday anyway to have an informal wake and I could attend that if I wanted.  We decided where to meet and I dropped her back off on her corner.

Friday I arrived at the designated McDonald's thinking I was just picking her up to go to the wake.  But she wasn't waiting outside.  So I left Big Sis and BIL in the car (BAD neighborhood, they wouldn't let me go alone, even if I had wanted to) and went looking for her, only to find her and two other people seated in the McDonald's.  I trotted up and apologized in case I was late and she said, "No you're on time, we were early."

"Ok, well where are we going?"

Niece3, "What do you mean?"

"Where is the wake?"

"Here."

"Ooooh." 

So the six of us sat in uncomfortable silence drinking McDonald's coffee and trying to think of something nice to say.  Or anything to say.  Big Sis and BIL and I really didn't know how to react.

It was the weirdest funeral/memorial/wake I have ever attended, but then I have never considered McDonald's when doing my Eternal Planning.