So BlogDad was telling fart stories yesterday and brought back some memories. I have a few of those but my all time favorite is one that happened to Nephew4. He was going out on a first date with a girl he had a major crush on and they decided to stop at the upscale market (a grocery store with valet parking) in the neighborhood to gather provisions for a picnic.
According to Nephew, he was having a little difficulty containing himself in the car, but managed some relief in the parking lot on the way into the store by walking a step behind his date. They meandered through the store collecting some wine and cheese and crackers and a jar of pate from the deli, before heading to the produce section for some fruit.
Nephew had stepped to the other side of one of the fruit displays to get some grapes when another shopper came up next to him. He describes her as classy, very well dressed and obviously expensive.
She picked up a bunch of grapes and was turning them in her hand to examine them like they were diamonds, when all at once a huge gas bubble wrapped its arms around Nephew and he couldn't hold it off.
Just when he was congratulating himself on the fact that it was silent and really starting to think he'd gotten away with it the woman next to him crinkled her nose and gave a delicate little sniff.
Then a second sniff.
Then she dropped the grapes, screamed "Oh,my God!"and ran down the aisle away from him and completely out of the store.
Fortunately, by the time his date looked at him he was able to pull off a really confused expression.